Into The Dark
by DaisyTheDoodleDog
Summary: Castiel couldn't let himself be happy, or else the empty would take him. He knew he shouldn't have done it. He knew it would come for him... yet it was all so worth it.


**Enjoy! This is my theory of how Cas will be taken to the empty!**

**Pleaaaaaasssssseeeeeee listen to "My Love Will Never Die" by AG and Claire Wyndham, it'll set the mood and ruin your life. For those who've seen Lucifer on Netflix will know this song. Enjoy and review please!**

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It was coming for Castiel. He knew the second he did it.

It was all so worth it.

Years ago, Cas would have scoffed at the thought of what would become of his future, safely ensconced in Heaven's haughty hands. He never questioned when he killed for them. He had killed hundreds; some of them deserving the punishment, but many innocents that simply got in the way of his corruption and writhing, rotting mind.

Then the fall. He fell harder than all the others that plummeted to the earth like meteorites that lit up the night sky, stars laughing at them as the pearly gates slammed in their faces. He fell harder than any other angel. He wasn't sure if it was because he was thrown harder, or because he lost the most. Then his new family abandoned him, kicking him out of their home like an unwanted kitten. The only home he knew, the only people he ever felt right with abandoned him, leaving him insignificant and exposed in a world of hatred and revenge. The fallen angel and broken man with a bleeding heart and hands.

He had become a wingless angel who cried out into the night, not knowing how to handle the weight of seven billion lives on his shoulders without a family. Without a home. But then the green-eyed hunter and flannel giant took him back, and with time, Cas forgave them. He finally found the place where they'd smile at him, treat him as a "someone," not something. He wasn't the pawn Heaven drilled him to be, not the good little soldier that was sitting collateral damage, unwilling to break direct orders for what he was led him to believe was the greater good. But they were wrong. Maybe it was corruption that turned his mind and shifted his angel blade, not against the rebellers, but against those who continued to follow the ill minded. Maybe it was simple enlightenment from the human whose soul brightened any night sky with the pure ball of fire, full of rage and guilt yet stood for such beauty.

For Castiel, humans were the best thing to ever happen to him.

Dean Winchester. Castiel had been such an unimportant angel that the righteous plans for the man would never have been revealed to his celestial ears, but the name had come across by accident one day. That, he realized in the moment, was his first rebellion. The angel radio had sung the name, a baby's cry echoing through the clouds, each angel tuning in to the future. The future of them and their ever-waiting paradise. Then came the next destiny. Sam Winchester. What were the chances, the odds of the coincidence, so great it seemed Fate herself had intervened and made it so. That Heaven and Hell would tear the two blood-bound brothers apart.

Castiel's second rebellion was when he arose from the fiery depths of hell, pulling the weight of a human soul as his wings pumped him higher and higher away from the shrieking pit of the infernal monsters. He had heard the screams on the "angel radio," as Sam and Dean so cleverly put it, from his perch as he watched the humans carry out their lives, filled with love and hate, all the complex emotions the angels had trouble understanding. Castiel often felt jealous. He could live in comfort for forever, but Castiel wanted so much more than safety. He wanted to feel everything the humans did, from the elation of graduating high school to the heartbreak of a first love leaving. He wanted to live, not just survive. But the second he heard the screams, "Sam!", Castiel felt his morals and empathy clash with the duties shoved into his head by the other angels. So he dove headfirst into the pit and pulled out the righteous man. And when he felt the coolness of the earth's air on his face and the flames in his feathers sputtered out, he had his first glance at the most beautiful human he had ever seen. He was stuck by how strongly the man's spirit glowed, the fight and determination lighting up the night sky like a shooting star. Castiel's jubilant shouts came over the angel broadcasts, and every angel, and perhaps even God himself, heard him triumphantly crow "Dean Winchester is saved!" Hell fire followed, and the angels accused him of falling for humanity, that his allegiance had changed. And, oh, how he had fallen.

He fell the second he looked into those emerald eyes.

…

Cas didn't remember what led up to that moment, the exact second when he knew his world would collapse around him and he'd be taken away in the night, nothing but a stream of memories that only a fragment of people knew. He knew what he had done, knew the pain he was causing, and all for the selfish little act, that without it, could have saved them both.

What would lay ahead? A land of nothing, not suspiciously perfect as Heaven was, nor the road of fire burning in Hell. Something about the everlasting darkness was much more daunting. He knew what his fate would have been if he went to Hell, but this? This was walking into the realm of the unknown, a swarm of black that would lull the last of his soul into a mindless sleep for eternity. But Cas couldn't find it in him to care.

"Cas?" Dean had been saying that name for years now. Sometimes it was spat out in contempt or hate, and other times it was grief-stricken, a broken cry for the angel that received no response. But there were all those times where it was playful, the name bringing him a smile to his face like nothing had ever before. "What's the word Cas?," or the usual "Hiya Cas," when Dean caught him wandering the halls in the early morning hours, restless and bored with the Saturday Night Post. Those long, quiet car rides, where Sam slept in the back and Cas would take the rare opportunity to ride shotgun. The two would spend hours mindless bickering, but somehow left them both feeling content, problems neglected for a brief moment.

Dean didn't know about the deal. He never did until that moment when the ominous clouds pooled around him and he could see the misshapen figure of the shadows towering over him.

"Cas?" Dean had whispered, the word sweet and innocent as he inched closer in the serene moment. Cas nodded in a succinct response, that left them gazing at each other.

The sun was so beautiful that evening, after the hunt. It was successful, giving them one of only a handful of wins in the recent months. The losses of family and friends in a world all too trusting to the fabrication that it had even an ounce of morals left Dean feeling… empty. Cas would observe his crestfallen expression that never left even as he drank heavily, late into the night. Cas would find him close to passing out in the library, slurring his words as he told Cas how much he missed him even if Cas really hadn't gone anywhere. During the rare moments when Dean would blackout, Cas would help him to bed, and he'd ramble about everything that had happened to the pair over the years. Cas would merely nod and kiss his head, endlessly telling Dean how important he was. Dean would never remember in the morning, but his dreams would leave him blinking in confusion and a blush to rise up his cheeks at the thought of Cas kissing him. It never truly happened though, right? It was all just a dream. Another lie.

But Dean couldn't lie now. The sunset was so beautiful. A canvas of oranges and purples that faded into the night that seemed so far away. The breeze was gentle here, just strong enough to make the angel's coat catch the gust and blow it outward as if dancing with the breeze. The last of the sun's rays were reflected in those electric blue orbs that mimicked an entire galaxy of specks of stars and vast solar systems, swriling around one large black hole that sucked everything in. Dean felt his breath catch in his throat.

Dean felt happy. For the first time in a long time, when he said that one little name that made his heartbeat ring in his ears. Cas looked up at him and that crestfallen look melted into a gentle, genuine grin that ruined Cas. Cas felt his chest swell and he immediately shoved it away. No, he couldn't be happy. He just wouldn't allow it.

"Yes Dean?" Cas defied himself as he answered. Cas destroyed himself the second he answered that first prayer so many years ago. Dean's dappled freckles scrunched up as Dean let out the sound of a laugh. A slight chuckle that hadn't been heard so clearly in years. His cheeks became a rosy tint as they stepped closer together.

"Cas." His own name sent shivers down his spine.

The next seconds happened so fast, it was involuntary. It came almost naturally as they moved, feet and bodies pressed together like two lost puzzle pieces finally placed to complete the picture. Dean grabbed Cas's face, his jaw firm in his hands and as he leaned in, not a thought of doubt went through him. Cas grasped Dean's jacket, fearing the fall into the void that would take him when he let go. Their lips met, and then Cas's heart drowned. It was so innocent, so sweet compared to the lives they led, but it was all so worth it.

Seconds ticked away, valuable seconds that became overwhelmed by the night as clouds swarmed the pair; the hunter and the angel on his shoulder. The beautiful sunset seemed to be absorbed by the darkness, the empty nothing, the void that sucked the light away. Cas knew. Cas knew what was going to happen. He knew it and still he kissed him, letting his lips linger for the faintest memory that would be forever forgotten. The first kiss was chaste. Dean backing away to gasp, but he surged forward and kissed Cas again. As the night took over and trapped them in the bubble of sickening rich black a beautiful blue light illuminated the dark, outlining a familiar pattern or untamed feathers of an eagle's wings. Giants compared to the men, the wings were, stretching the length of the darkness and no matter how much the empty ate, it could never engulf the wings.

The wind blew harshly around, thrashing the trench coat in every direction, tussling their hair, continuously trying to rip them apart. Cas pulled away from Dean to get one last look at his face. His beautiful face, with the shocked tears in his emerald green eyes, that glowed so brightly in the endless depths of the night. The soft freckles dotted across his sun kissed cheeks. His tight jaw line with the tiny scar on his chin. He was so indescribably perfect to Cas. Dean gasped, stepping away and acknowledging the smoke that corrupted every corner of their senses.

"What's- Cas?"

"Goodbye Dean." Cas whispered, it would be his last words and for some reason he didn't mind it. And as the darkness trapped Cas and swarmed around like wasps up to his legs, then to his chest, trapping him in a sea of nothing, he kissed Dean for the final time. His presence melted away from Dean, the lingering feeling of their last joy morphing into a fragment of a memory of their long and tiring lives. A single tear fell off the edge of the world as Cas was laid to sleep for eternity in the darkness that took him away forever. Forever away from his happiness. Forever away from the hunter who gave him a title other than soldier. A single tear fell off the edge of the world from the hunter who saw the potential for a blossoming future wash away into the ocean of dreams. The tear was a single drop in the ocean.

Into the dark Castiel went. And into the dark he would not return. Into the dark Dean would follow. The sunset melted away into a calm night of a starless sky. Dean was alone, standing in the dark, with nothing but the memory embedded on his lips and fingers. Gone, like dust in the wind.

The dark had arrived. Dean spoke with glassy eyes and slow heartbeat, staring at where the sun should have been, but was met with only himself.

…

…

"...Cas…"

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**Review please! Until next time,**

**-Daisy**


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